Business - Your Self Story
Title : "Your Self Story".Business,Motivation,Self Improvement Many times in life, we find ourselves facing limitations. How often do we stop to consider whether those limitations are ones we placed on ourselves? One of the ways we do that is by adopting a story about who we are, our place in the world, what we as individuals can and cannot do, what "people like us" (family, community, gender, race, etc.) can and cannot do, and then clinging to that story. Our life story, or personal myth, is a way we make sense of who we are and the circumstances of our lives. We crave coherence, and one way we achieve that is by creating a story that makes sense of the disparate events that we experience and how they impact us. If we can't find a logical explanation, we make one up and then believe it as Truth. Our beliefs about ourselves have a strong impact on how we behave and even how our bodies respond. Dr. Ellen Langer, a Harvard professor of psychology, conducted a study in which a group of male volunteers over the age of 70 agreed to live as though it were 1959. They dressed, talked, read newspapers and magazines and watched TV shows from the period. After only 5 days, the men showed improvement in hearing and memory, and many of them even looked 5 years younger! In her book, "Mindfulness," Dr. Langer wrote, "The regular and 'irreversible' cycles of aging that we witness in the later stages of human life may be a product of certain assumptions about how one is supposed to grow old. If we didn't feel compelled to carry out these limiting mindsets, we might have a greater chance of replacing years of decline with years of growth and purpose." Similarly, by releasing our limiting beliefs in other areas, we can free ourselves to grow and develop in new ways. We can take the dreams that formerly seemed out of our grasp and begin taking steps to turn them into realities. There are many reasons we cling to our stories. Our history is something we can call upon at will. It feels much more controllable and predictable than our future and can be comforting to fall back on. There was a time when I didn't know when my next happy moment would come, so I would dwell on happy moments from the past. Happy to say, the happy moments come more frequently for me now, and I know there will always be more, so I no longer need to dwell in the past. Our stories give us a sense of history and belonging. We remember who we were and the people we connected with. It helps us define ourselves and create an identity. The trap is that we can get stuck in the safety of that identity and stop ourselves from growing for fear of upsetting the apple cart and having to cope with change and loss. We use our stories to bond with others. We may have come from similar backgrounds or had similar experiences, and they bring us acceptance from a likeminded group or individual. In "Why People Don't Heal and How They Can," Caroline Myss notes that sometimes we hesitate to give up our stories for fear of losing the relationships that come with them. Our stories may also include the roles we took on early in life. You may have been labeled the achiever or the one who would never amount to anything. You may have been the caregiver or center of attention. These roles translate into our later choices in careers, life partners, friends, which opportunities we'll pursue and so on. Our self-story and its related self-image draw familiar and comfortable boundaries around us that we may be reluctant to move beyond. We may use our stories as a way of explaining to people who we are and how we got that way. If we have less-than-perfect self-esteem (and who doesn't) or feel different, there may be an element of self-justification or trying to fit into the norm. Parts of our story are told to make us look good, to evoke sympathy, to impress, to bolster our own egos, to give us a sense of purpose and meaning, to make sense of a senseless event, to frame our personal challenges and many other reasons. Our stories change over time as we give new meaning to the parts of our life. Certain incidences gain or lose importance, like shining or dimming a spotlight on them. We may positively resolve a negative incident, or a happy one may be superseded by a disappointing outcome or even happier times. Our successes and failures will add to the story, as will the new perspectives and deeper understanding we acquire in the process of life. As you can see, your personal story is an important part of creating identity and coherence in your life. But when you get stuck in it or take it as the gospel truth, it can limit you from growing beyond it. You may be afraid of upsetting people or losing relationships by acting in a totally different way. You may feel uncomfortable that a sudden or radical change in behavior will make people think you've gone off the deep end. Or you may feel that each step you take needs to progress logically out of your past -- that you need to be able to explain or justify it to yourself or others -- rather than taking a leap into something you know you can do, or passionately want to do, but is a radical departure from what you've done or been before. It's up to you how quickly or drastically you want to change, and I strongly advocate taking things a step at a time. You can begin to move beyond your limitations by rewriting your personal story. We believe that our futures are determined by the circumstances we were born into and our childhood experiences, but there is ample evidence that many people have squandered the gifts they were given, while others had the strength and determination to transcend dire circumstances. I was moved by the story of Irene Monroe, a young woman who was abandoned by her mother in a trash can at the age of 6 months. She was placed with a foster mother who constantly told her, "You come from nothing, you are nothing, you'll be nothing." At the age of 6 or 7, she realized that she had an inner strength and that the world was open to her like everybody else. Realizing that education was her ticket out, she worked hard and created opportunities to pursue higher education at Wellesley, Columbia and Harvard. She is now a respected theologian, writer and speaker. While you can't change the past (although the accuracy of our memories is somewhat questionable anyway), you can always change how you look at the circumstances of your life. You can see them from a different perspective or put them in a different context. For example, several years down the road, you may be able to see how an incident that was painful at the time led you to something better. Or you may come to understand the perspective of someone who hurt you. And you can change your future. You will grow and have new experiences. You can continue writing your story based on the person you are becoming and reframe the past based on the perspectives you will undoubtedly gain as you move forward and have access to the bigger picture of your life. You always have a choice how you relate to the circumstances of your life, and by rewriting your self-story, you can literally change the direction your life takes. C 1998 - 2008 Sharon Good. All rights in all media reserved. Sharon Good is a Life, Career and Creativity Coach located in New York City. She specializes in working with creative people to clarify their life and career goals and live their dreams. Sharon is the author of several books, including “Managing With A Heart” and “The Tortoise Workbook: Strategies for Getting Ahead at Your Own Pace,” and teaches career workshops at the 92nd Street Y. Sharon can be found at her website, www.goodlifecoaching.com.上海浩奇办公家具
上海浩奇办公家具有限公司是专门从事办公家具设计，生产销售为一体的现代化企业。公司是专业办公家具制造商，及办公家具开发、设计、制造、销售、运输、服务于一体。公司坚持品质第一，信誉至上的原则，在同行业中较早实行：产品质量五年保证的承诺。多年来公司凭着超强的管理、先进的设备、考究的用料独特的工艺、卓越的品质、完善的服务，为国内外客户，在有限的空间，缔造无限的创意。为满足客户的要求，公司不断引进优质材料，改进工艺流程，加强品质监控，推陈出新。 为现代企业提供做工精良的办公家具系统：[ucl=from-www.shbangong.com]文件柜[/ucl]、[ucl=from-www.shbangong.com]更衣柜[/ucl]、[ucl=from-www.shbangong.com]办公桌[/ucl]、[ucl=from-www.shbangong.com]密集架[/ucl]、屏风组合系列、职员桌系列、会议桌系列、办公沙发系列、为追求成功的企业营造一个舒适有序、高雅高效的办公空间。所有办公家具用科考究，采用意大利进口实木，板材配件，并辅以CAD电脑设计，为企业提供全套的办公家具系列。公司产品品种齐全，有办公桌系列、办公椅系列、理想柜系列、公文柜系列、书柜系列、文件柜、更衣柜、办公桌、密集架、隔屏及沙发系列等，均属于现今国际流行的办公家俱。公司产品设计新颖，结构合理，可根据办公空间任意隔间组合，创造出优美宁静，充满生机的现代化办公环境，令人发挥最佳工作效率，提升企业形象。
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